This is a public service announcement. A useful one. Of the shoe variety. And it starts with a wedding…

When I got married, it was all about The Dress. A silk Collette Dinnigan to be precise, which is now a collectable since CD closed her brand recently. RIP.

Because it was all about the dress, the shoes were an afterthought. Let me explain…  I was actually completely flat out at work at the time. How flat out?  My boss high-fived my time management skills when I returned from a six minute bathroom break. With a wedding dress.  (Wondering how I could have pulled that amazing shopping feat off while visiting the office ladies room? We were doing an event in a department store that day. Bridal wear was on the way to the rest rooms.)

You can imagine then, how much time I spent on shoes. I spotted the perfect pair as I jogged (literally. Wedding diet.) past a shoe shop one Sunday morning. I didn’t try them on (sweaty jogging feet). But they looked like a good heel height. For aisle walking. And dancing.

When I got them home there was one tiny issue. My feet started to bleed within 1 minute of putting them on. Our wedding was planned for longer than 1 minute. You can see my dilemma.

A very kind friend recommended a shoe stretching company. I didn’t ask what was involved and instead just imagined. Wildly. My best (worst) guess? A large male with giant ‘fragrant’ hairy feet walking around in my pristine white wedding shoes. Wearing a brown tracksuit… But… The ‘death shoes’ came back from the mysterious wearing-in place 100% comfortable.  I danced blissfully and blister free at my wedding.

A short while ago I accidentally bought another pair of ‘death shoes’. Online. (I’m a quick learner. I now always try my shoes on when I purchase in store.)  There was only one review, which said, ‘They are so beautiful, but the leather is so hard, I can’t wear them.” I rolled my eyes.  As if they could be that bad… They’re worse. The leather at the front is like a plank of wood.

Unfortunately, the shoe stretching company was ungoogleable/closed. But I did find something else to bring the shoes back from where they were heading (ebay. With a warning. And a very low price.). It’s called ‘Stretch’* and it softens shoe leather. The packaging is dated, but that’s in line with the entire shoe repair industry.  All shoe repairers I’ve encountered eat dinner at 5pm and qualify for a seniors discount.

Here’s the How To:

Spray ‘Stretch’ onto the rock-like part of the shoe. It puffs up like hair mousse. Rub it into the shoe. Don’t be tempted to use any left over ‘mousse’ for your hair. Unless your current weave includes leather. Even then, I suggest you concern yourself less with shoe softening, and more with hair appointment booking.

Pop the shoes straight on and wear them around the house. I did 2 applications to get mine wearable. Which they now are. 100%. In fact I’m wearing them right now. And revelling in how comfortable they are (and how awesome they look.  Rock solid gold. Except they’re black. 3.1 Phillip Lim black heeled ankle boots to be exact.).

*Stretch is available from any old shoe repair shop. The older the better. Judging by the ‘vintage’ packaging, who knows if the supplier is still producing this product? Or even still alive.