Recently, early in the a.m. as I got ready to hit the gym, glowing bright red and LARGE in the almost pitch-black bathroom mirror (Autumn daylight saving not ideal for crack of dawn exercising) I noticed a serious ‘zituation’. I’m not talking one tiny zit. I’m talking Def Con 1. From normal-ish skin to zits so large they needed their own zip code.
A chocolate lead pre-Easter ‘diet’ plus a very unusual never-to-be-repeated-or-recommended ‘grease’ based facial I recently had in London had finally caught up with me…
I tried the usual 1-2 of upping my ‘good skin’ food intake (salmon, blueberries etc.) plus slathered on a vat of dermalogica Sebum Clearing Masque. No dice. Just zits.
I’d heard about a last-resort-facial in zituations like these and promptly hit the net to find out more… Called the ‘steam and squeeze’ and delivered locally by The Clear Skin Clinic, this is the boot camp of facials. A no frills, squeeze-your-face-off approach to blemish busting. Reviews were vague as to what this actually entailed but fulsome as to results. I immediately signed up.
THE LOW DOWN: Firstly – the ‘salon’… Down an alley, with a tiny sign to indicate location, it’s got a slightly unmentionable feel about it; which works – pimples are not polite dinner party conversation. On arrival there’s no questionnaire on what you’d like to achieve from the treatment, or offer of a soothing herbal tea/cool beverage. Apparently, that’s not how zit busting rolls. The ‘treatment’ room is only slightly larger than a cupboard, there’s no fluffy robe to change into, you’re on the bed, fully clothed, with the door open (tip for later: don’t wear a short skirt. Or do, if you’re keen to share your underwear choice with everyone else at the salon).
My facialist opened with, “Have you had a facial before?”… Me, “Yes”… Facialist (laughing), “This is not like any facial you’ve had before…”
After that ominous intro she got to work: a basic cleanse, followed by steam, and then serious squeezing and pinning… That’s right pins… Involuntary water (some people call them tears) may/may not have run out of my tightly squeezed eyes. After the pins/squeeze-your-face-off section an (optional; I opted in) glycolic mask was applied, then wiped off and… done!
RESULTS: My face hurt. A lot. Judging by the pin usage/pain factor I guessed my face looked like I was the human doll in a voodoo ritual, not ideal, as I was about to step out in public… where people with eyes would also be.
I repaired to the bathroom (think functional, then lower your expectations. There are no luxe products to slather on or steam room to relax in here.) to see the results and tried not to scream. Laughter wafted under the door, and I hoped someone was telling a joke that wasn’t related to my face. I got involved in a major cover up operation, focusing on a heavy eye (to create a talking point that wasn’t my skin). Emerging from the bathroom my facialist asked me if my face ‘scared me’…
Flip to one week later: the zituation was no longer. Steam and squeeze 1 – Zituation 0.
VERDICT: This is the go-to facial emergency fix when you require a serious clean out. It works. But it hurts. Be prepared.
THE FINE PRINT: I went to The Clear Skin Clinic, 13B Transvaal Ave, Double Bay NSW, Australia. Steam and Squeeze $65, Steam and Squeeze plus Glycolic Peel $100.
BLEMISH BUSTING PRODUCTS: To aid in ongoing blemish banning get involved with a clearing cleanser, like dermalogica’s Clearing Skin Wash (RRP $49.50). Do a weekly mask: we like GlamGlow’s Supermud Clearing Treatment (RRP $75). And spot treat with the likes of Clinique’s Anti-Blemish Solutions Clinical Clearing Gel (RRP $32 for 15ml) or Malin+Goetz’s Acne Treatment (RRP $29.00).
